ccsboardroom blog

The question is really about how we ask people to consider changing their behaviour!! Most Managers I have had the pleasure, and on some occassions displeasure, of working with, don’t have the people or emotional intelligence skills to influence behaviour change. The challenge is often about ‘how we approach the problem’. Often, our belief is that the other person is wrong, that we are right and that there is only one way….. My way!

Understanding that perceptions and opinions are a manifestation of many things, including most of all life experience, a good Manager needs to ‘dig’ a little deeper when trying to influence behaviour. By that I mean, develop an appreciation of why a person has a particular point of view. That insight provides enormous opportunities for influencing thought processes. Research and experience demonstrates that this approach achieves terrific results. If this so, where do people learn the skills to really understand each other? Can you imagine the impact we could have on work relationships, marriages, with our children if we found a way to teach people at an early age ‘how to devlop empathy’ and ‘understanding’.

Your challenge …. is to identify an individual that you would like to influence. Ask yourself these questions:
How well do I understand them? Really understand them?!!!
Why do they feel the way they do?
What are they protecting? What do they stand to lose or gain by following your ideas and suggestions?
Who has influenced their thinking?

I could list many more questions that would enable you to uncover some greater understanding of the other person. Right now I want to share the principle. If most Managers began with this approach, effecting changed behaviour would be far more dramatic.

Try it!

Several years ago I decided to invest in ‘personal development’ …. focused on understanding myself. To me the experience was a revelation. I began to understand why I reacted and responded to life experience the way I did. It explained my behaviours, attitudes and reactions. The resulting impact on my performance was positively astonishing.

Now I have the opportunity of coaching and assisting other Managers to better understand themselves. Seeing their reactions and responses is a most rewarding experience. But why does the process assist in building ’self belief’ and unlock potential?

For most of us, we are usually totally unaware that we are trapped in patterns, behaviours and subconcious thoughts. Creating self awareness via ’safe’ confidential discussion and introspection allows one the self reflection ’space’. It’s important to provide people with alternative perspectives in a ‘candour without malice’ manner …. not to judge them. Listening to their views and opinions …. and then challenge their perspectives.

Making a difference to how people see themselves, especially Managers at senior levels, can have an incredible effect on their team and the business. Handled the appropriate way coaching and mentoring increases job satisfaction and happiness .. big time!